i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
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Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
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You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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