I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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