Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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