I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
