Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
