if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
