I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
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Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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