I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
