I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
