The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize