U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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