Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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