I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
