i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
