I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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