That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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