OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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