I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
