she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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