Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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