i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
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i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
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Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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