Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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