the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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