the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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