they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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