I skipped work to stalk him.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize