Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
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at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
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We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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