she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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