I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
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I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
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Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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