thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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