but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
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hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
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...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?