I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes