If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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