i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize