you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
