ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Your dad touched me again.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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