hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize