he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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