Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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