at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize