The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
