You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
