I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
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I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
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I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I forget how to act sober
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