I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Randomize
