she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
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Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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