Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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