how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
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WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
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I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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