i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
