I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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