He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
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You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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