so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just gargled with NyQuil
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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